I do believe that way too much has gone on over the past 7 months to even remotely try to "catch" up....So, we will move forward...We will "keep on, keeping on..." This is what I do....this is what I am trying to teach my amazing Sunshine girl to do....
Yes, somedays ARE hard...somedays I AM exhausted....but, then there are OTHER days, or for that matter other MOMENTS... Those are what I live for...those little perfect moments that make all the "hard" times worth it.
Those moments when I look at Sydney...and realize just how amazing she is and how blessed I am to be her mom. She makes my world go round... Those mornings when I want to crawl back under the covers and go back to sleep...I don't...because what will that show my Sunshine girl....NOTHING. I want to show her how to be strong, how to believe in herself always, to be kind & encouraging to others, to always, always, ALWAYS do her best (even on those days when we don't really want to)....
I WANT to be the best mom that I can for my amazing little girl....and every day I will "Keep On...Keeping On"
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
....Random Thoughts..
...sitting here this morning, thinking about how amazing my little Sydney is. I hate this disease "Diabetes" & everything about it....but, it is not gonna get my little Sunshine girl down.
She started her insulin pump about 4 weeks ago....She decided a couple weeks, that she should know how to push the buttons & make it deliver insulin...."You know, I am gonna be 7"....lol You should see the look on adults faces as she whips it off her waistband, asks the amount of carbs & goes through all the steps....Yes, she is pretty much amazing.....
I wish that I could make it all go away.....but I can't. Sydney shows me everyday that it is going to be OK. I may be exhausted from doing night checks, and working all day.....but, she says something quirky or something way beyond her years.....and its all better. I know that she is gonna be fine. I will do everything in my "mommy" power to make sure that she is fine....the rest is in God's hands.
She started her insulin pump about 4 weeks ago....She decided a couple weeks, that she should know how to push the buttons & make it deliver insulin...."You know, I am gonna be 7"....lol You should see the look on adults faces as she whips it off her waistband, asks the amount of carbs & goes through all the steps....Yes, she is pretty much amazing.....
I wish that I could make it all go away.....but I can't. Sydney shows me everyday that it is going to be OK. I may be exhausted from doing night checks, and working all day.....but, she says something quirky or something way beyond her years.....and its all better. I know that she is gonna be fine. I will do everything in my "mommy" power to make sure that she is fine....the rest is in God's hands.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
...it is official...PUMPING HAS BEGUN
So.....We started pumping on April 30th...a beautiful Saturday afternoon. We had a fun....but somewhat stressful day. Having a blowout on the way to Children's Mercy was NOT on the agenda of the day....but it happened & we got through it...Maybe that was God's way of letting us know that even when Life throws you a curve, you accelerate through it...and then pull over & change your tire....lol
I love, love, ,love the pump so far. I don't however love, love, love Sydney's numbers right now....BUT, that too will change when we get her insulin settings adjusted....this too shall pass :o) So, if you ask me how she is doing...she is doing GREAT....just don't ask about her numbers :o) I realize too that as she grows, gets sick, weather changes...and the WIND blows...we will continually be making adjustments.
For those of you that "think" a pump solves everything...THINK AGAIN!!! We still have to check her blood glucose & actually we are checking it MORE right now, due to night checks...I am sure you have heard me mention "night checks"....We have to check her blood glucose every 2 to 3 hrs during the night. So, we have alarms set for 11:55pm....2:55am....and 5:55am.........Which means that we have been extremely tired & trying to get back to sleep is not an easy task.
When she eats ANY foods with carbs....we have to enter that info into her pump & give her the appropriate amount of insulin...it doesn't do IT itself. Some of the reasons we went to the pump.....NO shots, 1 poke (like a shot) every 2 days....and the pump allows us to give Sydney EXACTLY the amount of insulin that she needs....when we were giving shots, we could only dose in 1/2 unit increments....the pump allows us to give insulin in increments of 0.025......yes...not 0.25 but 0.025....AMAZING :o) The insulin pump is said to be the "gold" treatment for Type 1 diabetics...and I want the BEST for my daughter.
Going back to school the Monday after getting the pump was an exciting, but daunting experience.....it was like starting ALL over. Here I was....just learning everything & then trying to teach everyone that I needed to, what to do... I think that I did OK....I HOPE that I did OK. I think that I made 5 trips back and forth to school that day & ended the day with a meeting with some of Sydney's teachers and other appropriate school staff. I ended up typing a "step by step" on how to use the pump, in between my trips....all I really wanted was a nap that day....lol
The last couple weeks have kind of flown by....most days I feel like I am sleep walking...doing everything in "auto pilot". I am learning that most people don't and won't EVER realize what it is like to be the parent of a child with Type 1 diabetes....I wish that I didn't know. I do KNOW that I am strong, and when I feel weak...GOD will lift me up & give me strength...
The reality that THIS is Sydney's Life....hurts. It hurts because I cannot fix it....I am her MOM....I can usually fix most things....this one is in God's hands. I am trusting Him with her path....God.....keep her Safe...keep her Strong...keep her Brave...and never let her Sunshine fade....
I love, love, ,love the pump so far. I don't however love, love, love Sydney's numbers right now....BUT, that too will change when we get her insulin settings adjusted....this too shall pass :o) So, if you ask me how she is doing...she is doing GREAT....just don't ask about her numbers :o) I realize too that as she grows, gets sick, weather changes...and the WIND blows...we will continually be making adjustments.
For those of you that "think" a pump solves everything...THINK AGAIN!!! We still have to check her blood glucose & actually we are checking it MORE right now, due to night checks...I am sure you have heard me mention "night checks"....We have to check her blood glucose every 2 to 3 hrs during the night. So, we have alarms set for 11:55pm....2:55am....and 5:55am.........Which means that we have been extremely tired & trying to get back to sleep is not an easy task.
When she eats ANY foods with carbs....we have to enter that info into her pump & give her the appropriate amount of insulin...it doesn't do IT itself. Some of the reasons we went to the pump.....NO shots, 1 poke (like a shot) every 2 days....and the pump allows us to give Sydney EXACTLY the amount of insulin that she needs....when we were giving shots, we could only dose in 1/2 unit increments....the pump allows us to give insulin in increments of 0.025......yes...not 0.25 but 0.025....AMAZING :o) The insulin pump is said to be the "gold" treatment for Type 1 diabetics...and I want the BEST for my daughter.
Going back to school the Monday after getting the pump was an exciting, but daunting experience.....it was like starting ALL over. Here I was....just learning everything & then trying to teach everyone that I needed to, what to do... I think that I did OK....I HOPE that I did OK. I think that I made 5 trips back and forth to school that day & ended the day with a meeting with some of Sydney's teachers and other appropriate school staff. I ended up typing a "step by step" on how to use the pump, in between my trips....all I really wanted was a nap that day....lol
The last couple weeks have kind of flown by....most days I feel like I am sleep walking...doing everything in "auto pilot". I am learning that most people don't and won't EVER realize what it is like to be the parent of a child with Type 1 diabetes....I wish that I didn't know. I do KNOW that I am strong, and when I feel weak...GOD will lift me up & give me strength...
The reality that THIS is Sydney's Life....hurts. It hurts because I cannot fix it....I am her MOM....I can usually fix most things....this one is in God's hands. I am trusting Him with her path....God.....keep her Safe...keep her Strong...keep her Brave...and never let her Sunshine fade....
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
...What's Going On...
...Been doing quite a bit of studying the last few days on Diabetes and pump management. I have a good feeling; beginning be more optimistic & confident that our transition to pumping will be ok.....I realize that the transition can be somewhat stressful...but, how can that be different than any other day in our D-Life??? Just different stress....and it too will pass, we will learn all the little tricks of pumping & hopefully, Syd's numbers will be more consistent....it may just take us a bit to get there. I can deal with that, and I am sure that Syd can deal with less pokes & better numbers :o)
Tonight I worked on planning a "fun" day for Sydney on Saturday....We are going to go to Kaleidescope in Kansas City & then plan on eating lunch at Crayola Cafe....should be a good time :o) We have to be at Children's Mercy at 1:30pm for our pump start.....gonna be a busy day, but gonna try and fit as many smiles as possible into it...
Sydney is pretty excited about starting her pump & not having to do 4 shots a day...her favorite part seems to be...NOT having to do the "butt" shot...lol. She is a little concerned that the pump will "hurt"....I wish that I could take ALL of her worries & "hurts" away. Her little mind shouldn't have to worry, her little body shouldn't have to have so many little hurts......She should be able to be a kid, and not have to have soooo MANY responsibilities.
She makes me sooo proud everyday :o)
Tonight I worked on planning a "fun" day for Sydney on Saturday....We are going to go to Kaleidescope in Kansas City & then plan on eating lunch at Crayola Cafe....should be a good time :o) We have to be at Children's Mercy at 1:30pm for our pump start.....gonna be a busy day, but gonna try and fit as many smiles as possible into it...
Sydney is pretty excited about starting her pump & not having to do 4 shots a day...her favorite part seems to be...NOT having to do the "butt" shot...lol. She is a little concerned that the pump will "hurt"....I wish that I could take ALL of her worries & "hurts" away. Her little mind shouldn't have to worry, her little body shouldn't have to have so many little hurts......She should be able to be a kid, and not have to have soooo MANY responsibilities.
She makes me sooo proud everyday :o)
Monday, April 18, 2011
...counting down....momma is getting nervous
Today is April 18th....12 days & we will be at Children's Mercy to learn how to work Sydney's insulin pump. The person showing us the "ropes" said that we will likely be there 1-2 hours & walk out the door pumping....
Seriously....1-2 hrs. Ok, I will just "go with it". But, not the least bit afraid to say...."I am scared!!!!"
I know that the pump will be so much better for Sydney....we can be more precise on her insulin doses. It is hard to get "precise" when you only have the option of half unit increments. Syd is excited about not having 4 shots a day :o)
But that fear is settled in my belly......am I making the right choice? Is this the "right" time? Why am I having so many doubts????!!!!!
It is a BIG step...a GIGANTIC step..... I have to trust that God has gotten us this far & he will get us through this change....
Guess I better get to reading these insulin pump manuals that I keep pushing off to the side...they sure aren't going to read themselves....
Seriously....1-2 hrs. Ok, I will just "go with it". But, not the least bit afraid to say...."I am scared!!!!"
I know that the pump will be so much better for Sydney....we can be more precise on her insulin doses. It is hard to get "precise" when you only have the option of half unit increments. Syd is excited about not having 4 shots a day :o)
But that fear is settled in my belly......am I making the right choice? Is this the "right" time? Why am I having so many doubts????!!!!!
It is a BIG step...a GIGANTIC step..... I have to trust that God has gotten us this far & he will get us through this change....
Guess I better get to reading these insulin pump manuals that I keep pushing off to the side...they sure aren't going to read themselves....
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