...reality sometimes hits when you least expect it. I feel like the last 6 months has been a bit of a blurrrrrrrr; like we have been stuck in this bad dream or something; realizing that this is not a dream is hard.
Saying it out loud is hard....I called my homeowners insurance company the other day to see about getting insurance on Sydney's pump. I knew the person at the office, but they didn't know that Sydney had Diabetes...I had to say it..."Sydney was diagnosed with Type 1 several months ago..." As soon as the words were out....my eyes filled with tears, I had a huge lump in my throat......reality sucks.
Knowing that there is something wrong with your child, that YOU can do nothing about is hard. I know that God is with us everyday....he is carrying this burden for us. Most days everything seems to be on "auto-pilot"...bg checks, counting carbs, shots....everything gets so busy you don't get much time to think...you just take care of things the best that you can.
I have people who tell me that I am strong...they have no idea....I don't "feel" strong. I feel like a mom that is doing the best that I can....I pray everyday (several times) for God to carry my burdens, to help me be strong, and to watch over Sydney & take care of her.... There is no way I can do it all.....learning to lean on other people is something that I have to work on. Fred is an amazing husband & dad who is there everyday & through everything with us.... I have an amazing best friend...Kelly...she is wonderful & I am thankful for her everyday. She helps me to be strong when I don't feel like it, she lets me cry on her shoulder, she gives me hugs when I need them....and the list goes on. Jackie, our school nurse....has been amazing as well.
Learning to trust other people with your child having Type 1 is hard. I feel like we learn new things everyday, it is really hard to keep everything about Syd updated & passed on to everyone....but, we do the best that we can.
I guess staying busy with things, helps me to NOT think about all the bad....and just focus on Life's "moments". They are what is most important. :o)
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