...Been doing quite a bit of studying the last few days on Diabetes and pump management. I have a good feeling; beginning be more optimistic & confident that our transition to pumping will be ok.....I realize that the transition can be somewhat stressful...but, how can that be different than any other day in our D-Life??? Just different stress....and it too will pass, we will learn all the little tricks of pumping & hopefully, Syd's numbers will be more consistent....it may just take us a bit to get there. I can deal with that, and I am sure that Syd can deal with less pokes & better numbers :o)
Tonight I worked on planning a "fun" day for Sydney on Saturday....We are going to go to Kaleidescope in Kansas City & then plan on eating lunch at Crayola Cafe....should be a good time :o) We have to be at Children's Mercy at 1:30pm for our pump start.....gonna be a busy day, but gonna try and fit as many smiles as possible into it...
Sydney is pretty excited about starting her pump & not having to do 4 shots a day...her favorite part seems to be...NOT having to do the "butt" shot...lol. She is a little concerned that the pump will "hurt"....I wish that I could take ALL of her worries & "hurts" away. Her little mind shouldn't have to worry, her little body shouldn't have to have so many little hurts......She should be able to be a kid, and not have to have soooo MANY responsibilities.
She makes me sooo proud everyday :o)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
...counting down....momma is getting nervous
Today is April 18th....12 days & we will be at Children's Mercy to learn how to work Sydney's insulin pump. The person showing us the "ropes" said that we will likely be there 1-2 hours & walk out the door pumping....
Seriously....1-2 hrs. Ok, I will just "go with it". But, not the least bit afraid to say...."I am scared!!!!"
I know that the pump will be so much better for Sydney....we can be more precise on her insulin doses. It is hard to get "precise" when you only have the option of half unit increments. Syd is excited about not having 4 shots a day :o)
But that fear is settled in my belly......am I making the right choice? Is this the "right" time? Why am I having so many doubts????!!!!!
It is a BIG step...a GIGANTIC step..... I have to trust that God has gotten us this far & he will get us through this change....
Guess I better get to reading these insulin pump manuals that I keep pushing off to the side...they sure aren't going to read themselves....
Seriously....1-2 hrs. Ok, I will just "go with it". But, not the least bit afraid to say...."I am scared!!!!"
I know that the pump will be so much better for Sydney....we can be more precise on her insulin doses. It is hard to get "precise" when you only have the option of half unit increments. Syd is excited about not having 4 shots a day :o)
But that fear is settled in my belly......am I making the right choice? Is this the "right" time? Why am I having so many doubts????!!!!!
It is a BIG step...a GIGANTIC step..... I have to trust that God has gotten us this far & he will get us through this change....
Guess I better get to reading these insulin pump manuals that I keep pushing off to the side...they sure aren't going to read themselves....
Saturday, April 16, 2011
It's "fine" & will be "fine"....but it's NOT OK...
How's Sydney? How's her numbers? Is she under "control" yet? Some of my many "not so favorite" questions....
Oh & welcome to the REAL world.....Diabetes is something that is managed 24/7.....365 days a year. Is is never under control, you have to manage it every hour of every day to ensure that she is as healthy as she can be.
Imagine not having a heartbeat....would you stop CPR & let your child, or anyone for that matter, die? Diabetes management (checking bg's, administering insulin, counting carbs, eating a healthy diet, and getting regular exercise) is like CPR. If you don't continue to administer it.....your child could have life long complications. Diabetes doesn't take a day off, an hour off....just because you are tired or forgot...it is there all the time.
She is fine, we are fine, it will continue to be "fine".......it is NOT OK....she is almost 7 yrs old & for the rest of her Life....will have to count carbs, take shots or use an insulin pump, check her bg multiple times a day.....Seriously, why....... WHY can they not find a CURE for Diabetes...how is this fair to the thousands of children that have to endure these things their whole Life.
Easter is next weekend...unfortunately one of "those" holidays that stores seem to "think" center around candy. Great!!! Not!!! At least it is giving us the opportunity to get back to the "real" meaning of most holidays....
So....I guess the reality is... its my job to make it OK for Sydney.....and I do my best everyday. Whether I am planning her meals, talking to the school nurse, talking with Children's Mercy, checking her bg at 3am, etc., etc., etc........ YES, people do live long, healthy lives with Type 1 Diabetes...but, they do so because they or their parents (if they are little bits) are managing it daily!!!!
...but some days it is NOT OK for me. Thinking about all that she has to endure & will have to endure her whole Life. Its my job to make sure that she does NOT know my fears for her...Its my job to educate her on making good choices, so that she can have a very long, happy, successful, healthy Life. I have NO doubt that she will, she is strong, she is amazing....she is my SUNSHINE.
Oh & welcome to the REAL world.....Diabetes is something that is managed 24/7.....365 days a year. Is is never under control, you have to manage it every hour of every day to ensure that she is as healthy as she can be.
Imagine not having a heartbeat....would you stop CPR & let your child, or anyone for that matter, die? Diabetes management (checking bg's, administering insulin, counting carbs, eating a healthy diet, and getting regular exercise) is like CPR. If you don't continue to administer it.....your child could have life long complications. Diabetes doesn't take a day off, an hour off....just because you are tired or forgot...it is there all the time.
She is fine, we are fine, it will continue to be "fine".......it is NOT OK....she is almost 7 yrs old & for the rest of her Life....will have to count carbs, take shots or use an insulin pump, check her bg multiple times a day.....Seriously, why....... WHY can they not find a CURE for Diabetes...how is this fair to the thousands of children that have to endure these things their whole Life.
Easter is next weekend...unfortunately one of "those" holidays that stores seem to "think" center around candy. Great!!! Not!!! At least it is giving us the opportunity to get back to the "real" meaning of most holidays....
So....I guess the reality is... its my job to make it OK for Sydney.....and I do my best everyday. Whether I am planning her meals, talking to the school nurse, talking with Children's Mercy, checking her bg at 3am, etc., etc., etc........ YES, people do live long, healthy lives with Type 1 Diabetes...but, they do so because they or their parents (if they are little bits) are managing it daily!!!!
...but some days it is NOT OK for me. Thinking about all that she has to endure & will have to endure her whole Life. Its my job to make sure that she does NOT know my fears for her...Its my job to educate her on making good choices, so that she can have a very long, happy, successful, healthy Life. I have NO doubt that she will, she is strong, she is amazing....she is my SUNSHINE.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
...How, why.....does this little machine now control our Life????
A poke, a drop of blood........5, 4, 3, 2, 1.........?????
Sometimes those 5 seconds feel like at eternity....waiting to see what Sydney's blood sugar is going to be. Did we figure her carbs right? Did I give her too much or too little insulin? Should I have adjusted her insulin? Do I have anything on me, if she is low? What if she is high? Should I check for keytones? Is this going to get better with a pump? Will she be able to have that snack that she asked for? Why oh why does my daughter have to do this?
These & the other 500 questions that run through my head while waiting for those 5 little seconds to pass....
Sometimes those 5 seconds feel like at eternity....waiting to see what Sydney's blood sugar is going to be. Did we figure her carbs right? Did I give her too much or too little insulin? Should I have adjusted her insulin? Do I have anything on me, if she is low? What if she is high? Should I check for keytones? Is this going to get better with a pump? Will she be able to have that snack that she asked for? Why oh why does my daughter have to do this?
These & the other 500 questions that run through my head while waiting for those 5 little seconds to pass....
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
...Just when you "think" you know what's going on....
It seems really hard to fathom that just 3-4 weeks ago....Syd was running High, high, high.....The last couple weeks....low, low, low....
Some days ...I feel like...we GOT this. Other days, I feel completely helpless. I am MOM, I am supposed to have the answers to fix things for her....Some days I can't.
Some days....my Faith & Hope seem stronger....other days...I just want to cry.
Some days....I want to pretend that Sydney can eat whatever & whenever she wants without having to check her blood sugar & take insulin. But, she would be the one that suffers :o(
Some days....I think about how unfair this is for her....especially when she tells me how unfair it is & how much she hates it.
Everyday....I am SCARED.
Everyday.....I pray for CURE, I pray for God to watch over my child as she sleeps (just in case my alarm doesn't go off), I pray for strength....because some days I feel like I just don't have it.....
Some days ...I feel like...we GOT this. Other days, I feel completely helpless. I am MOM, I am supposed to have the answers to fix things for her....Some days I can't.
Some days....my Faith & Hope seem stronger....other days...I just want to cry.
Some days....I want to pretend that Sydney can eat whatever & whenever she wants without having to check her blood sugar & take insulin. But, she would be the one that suffers :o(
Some days....I think about how unfair this is for her....especially when she tells me how unfair it is & how much she hates it.
Everyday....I am SCARED.
Everyday.....I pray for CURE, I pray for God to watch over my child as she sleeps (just in case my alarm doesn't go off), I pray for strength....because some days I feel like I just don't have it.....
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